Last and This Week

the weekend that was: a great weekend. Dorothy announced at the church gathering she was officially in remission. we all celebrated. Kassi was gone to Dordt checking the school out and seeing the family. Our thanksgiving gathering at my sisters place in Cloverdale was wonderful. it was the probably the most peaceful time we have had together as a family in a few years, not because of disagreements, but because there has been so much pain and difficulty in some of our lives and this year things are going better for many of us.

on my to-do list this week: alex painted the office and so I'm moving things around and trying to organize stuff. I'm a horrible organizer, actually I can organize but just can't keep it there. i'm too all over the place. I need to value simplicity and minimalism more. I'm a piles guy and to have an office that is neat and tidy doesn't last. i'm sketching out the advent series and the series after church without walls.

procrastinating about: probably more than i realize

book i’m in the midst of: humility, andy murray

music that seemed to catch my attention this past week: little river band - remember "cool change" and "help is on its way?"

how i’m feeling about this week: focused.

Church Without Walls

I kept Peterson's book, "Church Without Walls" in a handy place for 10 years not thinking I'd use the title for a sermon series. It best describes what we are trying to figure out at Heartland -- meaning how to be the church when we are not within the walls of a church building.

Churches are pretty good at doing events, such as worship services, youth night or bible studies. But churches are lousy at acting like the church when they are not gathered together in some meeting or event. What I mean is that the call do be the church tends to be lost unless there is some official function. The reality is that most of our time we are not at a church function.

So at a church service, we may be friendly to someone new, but not that friendly to new people we meet elsewhere. We may bring cans of food for the food bank collection at a church service, but we pass hungry people on the street daily without thinking that we are the church and what our role with the hungry is.

We may listen intently to a sermon at a church service, but won't crack the Bible after. We may tithe or say we do at a worship service, but don't help someone who needs some furniture or a meal, or shoes.

We are good at doing things when a whole group is doing it or when we are asked, but we as a church are not very good at doing things spontaneous as part of a desire to be like Jesus. We can be busy being a part of a ministry, but we don't engage with culture or people outside of church programs unless we are asked to.

There are several problems with this. How genuine and heartfelt can people be if they are only doing it because they have been asked to? How much more would it mean to the city if people of the church began to look for needs and meet them just because - even if no one is looking.

How can people take individual responsibility for living out their faith when the only time they engage in the kingdom is after the phone rings from a church leader trying to recruit someone? There is so much more to living within the kingdom. Its an everyday, 24 hour a day venture. It never shuts off or takes a break.

How can the church make a dent in the needs of gospel-less living when people will do something only when they are asked?

That is the limiting factor, I believe, of the church. We only get stuff going when a leader within the organization initiates something then invites others to be part of it.

What if all church people considered themselves to be leaders and just met needs as they run into them?

This has been Heartland's philosophy from the beginning and we are trying to figure out how to do this at new levels. We feel that ministry activity follows ministry values. In other words, values first then practices. We are doing our best to live this way, but the dominate culture and the dominated expectation is that people will "serve the church" only when they are asked. So they wait around waiting to be asked.

What if we would turn this around and say we would like to serve as the church - anywhere, anytime. Not just because a leader is trying to recruit others, but because there is a self-motivating, heartfelt desire to serve others because of what we have received from the cross.

This Week

the weekend that was: a great weekend. the weather was fallish, went for multiple walks, enjoyed the kids. kassi played hard in Burnaby, worked most of saturday on the message and support material, Levi designed a new bike, James won all the games during family night last night. Sunday am was a morning of 1sts for many and the coffee was great but the gym was cooooold..

on my to-do list this week: well, there is a bruins chapel (so, food, setup, talk, networking, etc.), multiple meetings with individuals, writing "going public" material for youth (at the barn), podcast is up already, fix a toilet, and begin planning for new series.

procrastinating about: working out, writing, and some house projects

book i’m in the midst of: unfailing love of Jesus, R.T. Kendall; reimagining church, frank viola.

music that seemed to catch my attention this past week: tomorrow's worst enemy, daft punk, david crowder band

how i’m feeling about this week: peaceful -- it's going to a great week.

Air Quality And Office Space

I've worked in lots of offices over the years. Some good, some not so good. When I was just starting out as an engineer, there was the first job with the office in the converted horse barn. The walls were drywalled but not painted, the floor plywood and the desk tops were rejected doors bought at discount at the local door factory. There were many challenges with that space. Keeping a regulated temperature was one. It was either blazing hot with kmart fans trying to move air, or really cold in winter with small heaters trying to keep the air warm. There were a few critters that also leased the space with us - mice, cats, and big ol' spiders. Each had to be convinced we had the 8-5 shift and that they should scram until the door closed at 5:15pm.

Then there was the space where we were all in a big open room with low walled dividers. We could hear each others phone conversations, see what we were working on and observe how much coffee or big gulps the other person consumed. From there it was in a multi-floor high tech space with mazes of cubicles. I think there was 3 underground levels of parking. My first day I was shown my cubicle, I left to go to the bif, got disoriented and couldn't find my space back. That's how I got to be good friends with the janitor.

Now, I'm in a warehouse converted into office space place. Where I sit right now, used to be a truck loading bay. Since I've been here we have had troubles with the air quality. Not that it stinks or anything and the temperature control is perfect - there is A/C and a heater. But its the lack of fresh air input into the building that is a problem.

At first I thought it was just me. I'd get here and within 1/2 hour I'd be lethargic, flush cheeks and feeling really old. So, I'd go for a walk and get more coffee to try and salvage the day. This went on for 3.5 years until this summer when the lease was up and I raised the issue again in a firm, I'm not going to let this one go manner. Air quality is important, right? They inspected the HVAC system and discovered there was no fresh air input into the building. None. No fresh air - just the same old air being breathed in and out. It was like being in the car with 4 kids all day with the recirculate on.

They got some tools out and worked on it and they said they "fixed" the problem and it should be better now. But it wasn't any better. So they checked it again on Monday and reported that the filter was very clogged and the fresh air intake damper was not all the way open and it should work now. But as I sit here, the issue is still not fixed. I want some more coffee, need to go for a walk and try and salvage the day. At home, the coffee is better, maybe I should just stay there and work.

This Week

the week that was: it felt like a great week. the bruins won in OT on saturday, we are deep into the new series and i feel like i have a handle on it now, had some difficult/sensitive conversations, i figured out some technical stuff with the website, glad the belay analogy wasn't a gong show on sunday (but podcast didn't record), we had a great elder's meeting, and our first youth event at the corn maze got things going - it's going to be a great year.

on my to-do list this week: date with Patti tonight, sermon on value #2, prepare materials for bruins chaplaincy promotion, get material ready for youth sunday night at the youth barn, keep going on fixing and updating the web site, pending bruins chapel (first one) and visit some people.

procrastinating about: lots of projects at home that need attention.

book i’m in the midst of: subversive spirituality (eugene peterson), my amazon shipment will be picked up friday!

music that seemed to catch my attention this past week: U2, Creed, Bill Marley and Brian Doerkson's today

how i’m feeling about this week: good, dreading somethings, but this will be a building week. maybe i'll get my CT scan appointment booked this week ...

Your Home's Address

About 4 years ago, our family moved from Los Angeles to Chilliwack. The moving truck left a few days before we did, and we drove up the I-5 and got to the Canadian border crossing. We had to declare our items, and take care of some paper work associated with moving from one country to another. It helped that we had lived in BC before and that I am a Canadian citizen. When all the paper work was finished and they gave us the approval for entering into the country, we stepped back from the counter and then the immigration officer said to me, “Welcome Home.”

Those words drew considerable emotion from me right then and I have often reflected why.

It could be that I was Canadian and was living in the US for 5 years and now I was returning back to Canada, even BC the province I was born in. That certainly had a part to it but I don't think all of it.

I think there is more to it. Near the end of our time in Los Angeles I experienced personal trouble associated with my work as a pastor. Conflict developed between myself and my co-worker and a few others. We both believed in our positions and they concluded I was a bad person and developed a campaign of sorts to make sure I was “exposed” and that I would leave.

So, when I heard the words “Welcome Home” it was like God saying, "It will be different now. It will be better. I am with you. Your safe here."

Don’t get me wrong. I loved Los Angeles, the weather, good friends, surf, the city – it was home to us. We were not looking to leave, but suddenly our home was no longer there, but here.

I don’t think finding your home has much to do with the address you live at.

Home has more to do with the condition of our heart than the address on the house.

This Week

the weekend that was: it was a whirrrr. i remember looking last week into the week thinking, if I make through, it'll be a miracle. so, miracles or miracles i'm here. filled with Bruins stuff, youth, website (it's up now check it out here), council meeting, sermon writing, house projects, and Patti being away all weekend.

on my to-do list this week: learn how to make forms on the website, learn how to tell itunes there is a new podcast, date with Patti tonight, read and write, elder's meeting thursday night.

procrastinating about: looking for office space (still).

book i’m in the midst of: missional leader (roxburgh) and i'm waiting for my amazon shipment to arrive :-)

music that seemed to catch my attention this past week: catchy tunes by metro station, david crowder

how i’m feeling about this week: good, some stuff has already got motion and others need some more work yet (youth).

thx to marko for this idea ...

This Week

thx to marko for this idea ...

the weekend that was: a bit of a scramble week trying to line up new things for the fall and preparing the last sermon "exposed" of the "no ordinary joe" series. we started draining our canadian tire pool yesterday.

where i am at the moment: church office, in front of my imac working on the church's new web site.

on my to-do list this week: finish new web site, continue to sketch out the "church without walls series", prepare our 8-10 new youth leaders for the upcoming fall season, council meeting thursday night, try to figure out how to make a podcast. date with my wife tonight.

procrastinating about: looking for office space.

book i’m in the midst of: the tangible kingdom, halter and smay; breaking the missional code, stetzer and putman.

music that seemed to catch my attention this past week: haven't opened itunes yet.

how i’m feeling about this week: cautiously optimistic - some projects are going to come together this week - youth, new site, and new series

This Week

thx to marko for this idea ...

the weekend that was: last week i used the last 5 days of vacation. we visited southside church, kassi had a tournament and lost the gold game in the last 2 minutes - heartbreaker. had a wonderful visit with cousins from florida: terri and al.

where i am at the moment: church office, in front of my powerbook g4

on my to-do list this week: get organized, weed through the 150+ emails, write last "Ordinary Joe" message for sunday, rebuild and plan youth ministry, continue to re-build heartland web site, continue to map out the fall series "church without walls." install skype to keep up with matt, council meeting on thursday, keep searching for new office space.

procrastinating about: probably everything, since i've been away last week ...

book i’m in the midst of: transforming mission, david bosch; rainbow 6, clancy; the tangible kingdom, halter and smay.

music that seemed to catch my attention this past week: ramones, david crowder

how i’m feeling about this week: anxious and out of control - overwhelming to have everything hit you at once.

Golfing In August

Went golfing yesterday with two friends.

Cultus lake golf course was beautiful. Too bad my game wasn't. August is the best month of the year for me in BC. The weather is perfect, the gardens and trees are in their full glory and I feel better in August than any other month. I find I sleep better, more creative, writing comes easier and August can be a laid back month so connections with people are easier.

The Chilliwack Bruins players come back into town, the office staff is working hard and there is an air of expectation within the rink. In my line of work, August is a month of planning and preparing for the next 8-10 months. I'm visioning and imagining what we as a church could engage in, planning a fall teaching series and inviting people into organized service work.

Golfing in August is awesome. Even when my game stinks.

Heartland Church Camp

Alright, its time to load up the trunk, wheelbarrow, rv, or whatever it takes to get you and your camping gear down to Vedder River Campground:

5215 Giesbrecht Rd
Chilliwack V2R 4R1
tel: 1-604-823-6012

Heartland has the group site on the left book on August 8-10 (Friday to Sunday). This is an annual event, and yes it will be tons of FUN!

Some of the specifics:

• Campground is open to us 12:00 noon on Friday, August 8th
• We have the campground booked until after the noon hour potluck on Sunday, August 10th.
• Yes, there will be horseshoes and I have to warn you, I came in last, last year.
• Bring food for the potluck which will be after the worship service on Sunday.
• Worship service will be at 10:30am Sunday.
• Take along games, bikes, and Clayton may bring his quad.
• Bring lawn chairs for the Service on Sunday.

Pastor (who can't play horseshoes) Mike

Walter "the rack" and Dorothy

Patti and I just got back from visiting Stan and Dorothy at Vancouver General Hospital.

It was so good to seem them. Due to being out of town and a massively busy weekend, we have not been able to go see them until now. They have been there for about 2 weeks now. Dorothy looked good today. Her "levels" are still very low and she does not have any immune system right now as a result. They are predicting the levels will begin to rise in the next few days. They have been saying that by Monday or Tuesday she will be out of the woods. That will be 10 days after the stem cell transplant.

We continue to pray for Dorothy, Stan and the family. They are in good hands.

She is on the 15th floor and they have a great view of false creek and the Vancouver skyline. The world class fireworks are tonight and they should have a perfect view of the whole show.

She introduced us to "Walter." Walter is a rack full of bags of stuff that slowly get dripped into her system. She doesn't go anywhere without Walter. Yesterday, with the blood transfusion, there were a few more bags on there. Stan says he can live with Walter for now, but he must go soon :-)

Update On Dorothy

Just a quick update from Stan and Dorothy (from Linette):

Dorothy’s blood levels are very low right now – she had her first blood transfusions yesterday of platelets and hemoglobin so hopefully that will give her a bit more energy today.

She continues to struggle with painful mouth sores (from the chemo) that are difficult to heal due to the low white blood cell count and she also has a low fever which they are watching carefully.

Continue to pray for strength and healing and for the blood levels to start climbing. The days are passing slowly for Dorothy right now, but each day is one day closer to her blood levels starting to climb!

Once again, thanks from the family for all of your prayers, support, cards and emails!

For those who are helping with housecleaning on Thursday, we will meet at Stan and Dorothy’s around 9:00 am. Bring buckets and rags please. See you then!

Chilliwack City Wide Service

The city-wide worship service is June 22nd, at 11:00am at the Prospera Center. Heartland's Sunday gathering will not be at Vedder Middle School this week, but will be with the rest of the city on Sunday.

It's Just Garbage

John, Wim, Tim and a few others did some organizing and a bunch of us cleaned up a road on Saturday. It only took about 1.5 hours and we collected 12 bags of garbage from road side ditches.

Most of it came from fast food places. Levi even found a roll-up-the-rim-to-win cup with a free coffee.

Do Less Than Fix

The "Compassion Today" magazine is delivered to our mailbox and a fellow blogger, Darrel Dash wrote a compelling article about his reflections after a trip to Compassion project.

It's frustrating to see poverty firsthand. The issues are complex, and there are no easy answers.

I have seen poverty up close a few times and yes, it is frustrating. Everything in me says stay, "Do something, this is not right!" But at the same time I realize there isn't much you can do to fix the problems and provide solutions to their situation.

Maybe we are called to do less than fix. Sometime the most profound thing that we can do is love a person, even if we can't fix everything. When Jesus spoke of the poor, he spoke in terms I can understand: offering water to the thirsty, feeding the poor, clothing the naked. he didn't use fixing terms. I can do more than love and care, but I can do less.

For me this helps us get started. Love and care. We may not be able to fix and solve global problems, but we can live the gospel within the kingdom. We can show up and be present and love like Christ did.

Letter to The Chilliwack Progress: Homeless - What Would Jesus Do?

A recent letter to the Chilliwack Progress posed the question, "Homeless: What would Jesus do?" The letter challenged the Chilliwack Ministerial, which I am a part of, to provide additional beds and housing for people who are homeless in Chilliwack.

The need for housing for the growing numbers of Chilliwack street people is frequently being highlighted  in the local press. The thought came to me that since each spring the Chilliwack area churches do a “Love Chilliwack” event – wash cars, provide hot dogs, coffee and a ready smile. I would like to suggest to the Chilliwack Ministerial to grow that smile into beds and housing for our growing number of homeless neighbors.

This is a good point - let's funnel our efforts towards finding solutions to homelessness. The letter cited a recent fund raiser for Ruth and Naomi, a service for people who are living on the streets, as an example of how to help.

Recently,  a Ruth and Naomi fund raising banquet raised $25,000 for start-up money. Much more will be needed. Could I suggest to the area ministers to remind their flock of their obligation to the homeless of their commitment to the teachings of Jesus  to make this a reality.

I'm not sure if $25k was a good amount or what the goal of the fund raiser was. But I think that Ruth and Naomi are doing fantastic work. We need to support them. We need to get involved.

So, flock (including me), let us figure out what our obligations to the homeless are as we learn from the teachings of Jesus.

What can we do Heartland?

Generation Why: Question it all. Answer out loud.

See it for yourself. Do an oversees internship or volunteer with CRWRC. No matter what you do, you will come face to face with the real people living with HIV and AIDS.

Get on your knees. Get serious and let God know. Ask for passion. Ask God to equip you to do what it is you were meant to do in the fight against AIDS -- and to give you the guts to do it.

Give it up. People live on less than one dollar a day. March their income with less than the cost of pack of gum every day for as many months as you can. The full 100% you give to CRWRC's Embrace AIDS campaign goes to AIDS programs in Africa, Asia, and Latin America.

Shrug off the cheap stuff. Super cheap coffee and chocolate is usually subsidized. Retrain your brain to buy fair trade (look for the logo) and your stomach to crave what only fairly paid farmers could have made.

Speak up. Your voice is a strong as your desire to speak up. Pay a visit to your elected representatives. Let him or her know that our country needs to send more aid for AIDS.

Give birth to your own brainchild. Got an idea to help the world Embrace AIDS? Fire off an email to embraceaids@crcna.org (US) or embraceaids@crcna.ca (Canada) to help make it happen!

Treatment: As Complex As The Disease Itself

Treating AIDS is as complex as the disease itself. It's more than medicatiion, and more than encouraging abstinence. CRWRC embraces all the symptoms and causes of AIDS then addresses the physical, mental and spiritual needs. To do this, CRWRC follows Jesus' example when working with communities living with HIV and AIDS.

Together -- you, the community and the CRWRC -- can effect lasting change by:

• Teaching youth and adults about abstinence and faithfulness in marriage and about the holiness of the human body as taught in scriptures.
  
• Helping families learn to earn an income despite the difficulties of their illness.
• Supporting communities in their care of children orphaned by AIDS.
• Training pastors and church leaders about HIV and how to effectively care for their community.
• Providing community-based health care to families in remote areas.
• Teaching caregivers and people living with HIV and AIDS ways to manage the illness, such as healthy eating.
• Finding ways to get people access to anti-retroviral drugs (ARVs).
• Offering psychological and spiritual counseling.
• Providing seeds for kitchen gardens, to grow disease fighting good and grains like amaranth
• Addressing stigma and discrimination against people living with HIV and AIDS.
  

Stigma and Discrimination

"Silence is not an option. Nor is inaction. Injustice and suffering demand our advocacy in a world that desperately needs people of faith creatively working together for change."

-- Ecumenical Advocacy Alliance

The greatest reason people stigmatize and discriminate against others? Ignorance. It was our ignorance -- and hate -- that killed Jesus: "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing."

We all know what it's like to be misjudged and be hurt and to misjudge and hurt someone else -- even with the truth staring us in the face. We can make a difference for people living with HIV and AIDS just to show enough respect to break down stigma and spread truth.

Sexual Responsibility

People living with AIDS aren't morally vacant. No more so than I or you, at least. Abstinence and faithfulness would certainly slice the spread of HIV. Look at AIDS in a vacuum and you might think, "What's with them over there?" But here, with food, shelter, security and just as many bad choices being made we might not act objectively and as a result stigmatize people unfairly.

What was it Jesus said? "If anyone among you is without sin, cast the first stone at her," said our merciful Jesus (John 8:7).

Talking about sex and AIDS can be difficult. But silence and whispers only aggravates stigma and discrimination, leaving millions infected with the disease to live and die alone and in fear.

Millennium Development Goals and the Christian Reformed Church

I was reading, "The Skeptic's Guide to the Global AIDS Crisis" last week and I got to page 81 where the 8 millennium development goals were listed. It stopped me in my tracks. Why haven't I seen these before?

The UN adopted them in 2000 as goals that every country could hope to achieve by 2015 and I was not even aware of them. Wow, I live a sheltered life. These 8 goals are so compelling. Who would not want to give their lives to helping achieve these goals? This is what redemption can lead to.

In Christian Reformed circles we talk about transforming society and the world. We talk about how to relate the gospel to the world with a transformational emphasis. That is what I like so much about our reformed perspective, redemption begins between us and God and then it branches out into society and the world with the gospel saying yes to repairing the world. It's seeing the kingdom of God developing in all areas of society.

And this is why the millennium development goals are so compelling to me. They are stated so clearly. They involve all humanity. They are shared with the nations. And they are about, may I use the word - redemption.

1) Eradicate extreme poverty and hunger.
2) Achieve universal primary education.
3) Promote gender equality and empower women.
4) Reduce child mortality.
5) Improve maternal health.
6) Combat HIV/AIDS, malaria, and other diseases.
7) Ensure environmental sustainability.
8) Develop a global partnership for development.

I have so many questions. How are we doing with these goals? What initiatives are there that is working on these? How is the worldwide buy-in? Who are the front runners? Is there a way to track progress? What does this mean for us here in Chilliwack? For Heartland?

AIDS Resources and Useful Things

Useful things for the activist within you!

Micahmorphosis: micahmorphosis.org
Youth site and discussion board focusing on the eight Millennium Development Goals.

Make Affluence History: geezmagazine.org/affluence
ideas to reduce affluence and extreme wealth

UNAIDS: unaids.org
United nations HIV and AIDS web site

Alternatives for Simple Living: simpleliving.org
Their motto: Living simply that others may live.

Buy Nothing Christmas: buynothingchristmas.org
Learn ways to make Christmas truly special without gifts

DATA: data.org
U2 rocker Bono's site for dept, AIDS, trade in Africa

ONE Campaign to Make Poverty History: one.org
U.S. Site for the global campaign

Make Poverty History: makepovertyhistory.ca
Canadian site for the global campaign

Global Youth Coalition on HIV/AIDS: youthaidscoalition.org
Youth Advocacy organization for AIDS

Embrace Aids

If you get rid of unfair practices, quit blaming victims, quit gossiping about other people's sins,
If you are generous with the hungry, and start giving yourselves to the down-and-out,
Your lives will begin to glow in the darkness, your shadowed lives will be bathed in sunlight.
I will always show you where to go. I'll give you a full life in the emptiest of places -- firm muscles, strong bones.
You'll be like a well-watered garden, a gurgling spring that never runs dry.
You'll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew, rebuild the foundations from out of your past.
You'll be know as those who can fix anything, restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate, make the community livable again.
(Isaiah 58:9-12, The Message).

Unfair Trade and Global Economic Policy

"How on earth could anybody stand in a field with these people and say that it's the right thing to do to dump their excess produce cheaply on a third world country? It's beyond me."
-- Chris Martin, lead singer, Coldplay

"Do what's in your best interest." That's not Christ Jesus' way, but it is the way of our messed up world. Wealthy countries offer their farmers subsidies to produce cheaper and more food so it can be sold at low costs both at home and overseas; large corporations pay rock bottom prices to poor farmers for crops like coffee and sugar then sell it to first world coffee chains and grocery stores at a much higher cost. The average African farmer pays two to six times for fertilizer than the world market price. All this unfair trade and policy drives farmers and their communities in developing countries deeper into poverty, despair and hopelessness. HIV is just waiting to infect their exhausted bodies, hearts and minds. In North America, insisting on and buying cheaper coffee, sugar, clothing and electronics often fuels the continuation of unfair trade policies.

Extreme Poverty

"Poverty is not natural. It is manmade, and can be overcome by the action of human beings."
Nelson Mandela, former president of South Africa

More than one billion people live on less than a dollar a day. They can't get the basics of feed, clean water, health care, shelter or education. They live right here on planet Earth, but with all our luxury cars, celebrity power and "Reality" TV they may as well live on Mars. The extremely poor seem like a world away.

But have we put them on another planet, economically and in our hearts and minds? What we buy, what we value, what we don't do and what we don't know have great impact on millions of lives. And since HIV and AIDS is widely considered consequences of extreme poverty, it partly falls on us to reverse the widening gap between rich and poor, healthy and sick that we have helped create - and to do it in the name of God.

What If

What if ...

Five years ago Bernard was a sugar cane farmer, earning just enough to feed his family. Then an agricultural corporation strong-armed the farmers and bought up the land. Bernard was forced to sell his one acre for $25.00

Desperate he took a truck driving job, traveling long distances to earn about a dollar a day. One lonely night, Bernard spend the night with a young woman who turned to prostitution after her parents died to care for her siblings.

A year later, Bernard died from AIDS. His wife, Esther has no money, her in laws took everything she owns and since testing positive for HIV she has been abandoned by her parents, her friends and her church.

Facebook Deactivated

[update 4/12/08: Okay, I'm back on facebook - trying it again. I think I have a better perspective now. Join the Embrace Aids cause on facebook].

I just deactivated my facebook account.

Why would I do such a crazy thing? I had 100+ friends, wouldn't they miss me? How will I keep up with everything? How will I know what someone's status is? What about my hockey pool?

The truth is, I didn't need another thing to "check". I already have email, blogs, office phone, cell phone, home phone, and my trusty palm tungsten c.

It's too bad, because I've enjoyed reconnecting with family, classmates, old friends with facebook. It also became the messaging method (email) of choice.

But, I can do without it. Even though my work has to do with connecting with people, and many are on facebook, I decided it was enough. I was constantly getting emails to join this, look at that, and respond to this. There was wall posts, then fun wall posts, polls, hockey pools, photos, videos, messages, and always the lure of new friends. It became a part time job.

So, for now, you can reach me the old fashioned way: mikevkshema at yahoo.com Hopefully you get past my spam filter....

Please, this isn't personal. I'm still your friend -- even if I'm not on facebook. :-)

No more positive people

• Every day, nearly 12,000 people become HIV positive
• Young people (under the age of 25) account for half of these new HIV infections
• There are currenly 39.5 million people living with AIDS around the world
• 48% of them are women (59%) in Africa
• 2.3 million of them are children
• 63% of them live in sub-Saharan Africa
• In Africa alone, 12 million children are AIDS orphans

Is AIDS a sentence for the sinful sexed up citizens trotting our globe?

Get Real

Try living on less than a dollar a day. Two hundred and thirty-three million Africans do it, a.k.a. the extremely poor. These are the world's most positive - positive with HIV.

And these are the H.O.P.E. positive, like no supped-up-jetsetter-star-studded superficial life can ever wrangle up. They are brothers and sisters full of brilliance and determination, skill and imagination asking brothers and sisters to follow a few simple instructions.

"Love the Lord with all your heart and wil all you soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: "Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandement greater than these." (Mark 12:30-31).

This is their time. This is your time. Face the light of the Son and don't turn away. Embrace AIDS.

Embrace Aids - Don't Turn Away

For the next few weeks I'll be blogging about the launch of the embrace aids campaign. We at Heartland are on board, and we are going to be a part of the larger community that is try to "Embrace Aids."

Most of the info for the upcoming posts will be from Christian Reformed World Relief Committee.

I Used To Be An Athiest

Life had gone pretty well, there were the normal ups and downs like trying to decide on a major of study, the hardship of college, then finding a job. My second job as an electrical engineer had me working with a guy named Keith. We were assigned a job together and the first day in the lab we were getting aquainted and he asked me, "Are you a Christian?" I said yes. He said, "I’m an atheist and there is something about me you should know, I am also an evangelist." "Tell me more," I said puzzled. "You guys try to convert us into you guys, but I try to convert Christians into Atheism - I consider it my moral duty," Keith explained.

Over a period of a month, Keith challenged my beliefs. He brought convincing evidence against the reality of God. He took a sledge hammer and relentlessly knocked against my understanding and faith in God. He was very good at bringing contradictory evidence against the reality of God. He’d say things like, how can there be a God that allows so much suffering. I prayed to God when my Mom was suffering of parkinson's and He didn’t heal her. He’d turn the table towards the Bible. How can this be the Word of God? He’d bring evidence that would turn any rational person away from the Bible.

Each drive home I would think and pray, trying to make sense of things. Over time I could tell I was loosing the battle. I was slipping. I no longer had easy quick answers.

Then one day I was empty and the only thing left was to conclude that there was no God. So, I went there and didn't believe in God anymore. Then I thought, wow this will change quite a bit. What will I tell Patti? I’d come home and she’d ask me how my day was. I’d say oh not bad, you’d never guess what happened to me today, I became an atheist today!

I didn’t feel right. But there I was an atheist. I thought well I could live like this and reject God. But then what? What would the purpose of life be? Then the thought came to me, what if I just accepted God without evidence and if I was wrong in the end then at least I lived a good life. That didn’t seem honest. But I thought at least I’d be a good person. I sat with that idea for a bit. But then a word came to me. Faith. What is faith? It’s accepting, believing even at enormous odds that it doesn’t make sense now or may not ever.

I just sat there. Then for some reason I prayed, "Jesus, I’m not sure you are real or if the Bible are your words, but I am going to accept it anyways. I’m going to live how the Bible wants me to live. I will have faith in you. I am going to reject the small arguments against you and accept your great size and power and that you are bigger than my questions." With that prayer began the slow climb back into faith.

I was an atheist for about 40 minutes.

my doubts

Doubts.

We all have them. They rear their heads during a crises, darkness or confusion. We may not think of them regularily, but something happens and there they are. Most of the time we don't talk about them, unless we are in the therapist's office or under the care of hospice.

My question is why? Why don't we talk about something that we all have in common? We all have doubts. Is God real or just something to believe in? Does God care? Who is in control? Why does religion - people with good intensions - spawn pain? Was Jesus really God?

We are told to believe. To have faith. Lots of it. But we are told at every turn to doubt, to be skeptics, to deconstruct. When we are supposed to have lots of faith -- anything less is thought to be a sign of weakness -- and doubts creep up, we are in a very lonely place. Questions emerge. Do other people struggle with this? What is happening to me? Am I loosing my faith?

We have somehow concluded that to doubt or question is actually insulting to God - as if God can't deal with our questions. We don't want to insult the very being that we are trying to wrap our minds/hearts around. We want Him close, we want His favor. We don't want to